{"id":1416,"date":"2016-10-19T19:57:48","date_gmt":"2016-10-20T01:57:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bendreth.com\/?p=1416"},"modified":"2016-10-19T19:59:14","modified_gmt":"2016-10-20T01:59:14","slug":"cant-sleep-clowns-will-eat-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/?p=1416","title":{"rendered":"Can’t Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

What with all the brouhaha concerning clowns in the news recently<\/a>, I thought I’d dust off a song I wrote a few years ago and post it. I had run across a graphic showing a young boy crying, with the words, “Can’t sleep. Clowns will eat me.” It’s from a Simpsons episode, apparently, but I didn’t know that. I also started off with a blues joke, because it seems that most of the old-time blues songs start with, “I woke up this morning, and <something bad happened>.”<\/p>\n

In any case, the following goes to the tune of “Heartbreak Hotel.”<\/p>\n

Well, I didn’t wake up this morning,
\n‘Cause I never slept last night.
\nThe clowns were coming to eat me
\nAnd you know that just ain’t right.<\/p>\n

Chorus<\/em>:
\n\tAnd I’m getting so tired, baby,
\n\tSo frightened and tired.
\n\tI’m getting so tired, I could cry.<\/em><\/p>\n

Well, they’ve got those big, red noses,
\nAnd they wear those floppy shoes,
\nAnd the way they paint their faces, Lord,
\nIt just gives me the blues.<\/p>\n

Chorus<\/em><\/p>\n

I saw that little car coming,
\nWith twelve of them inside,
\nAnd when they started to pour out
\nWell, I tried to run and hide.<\/p>\n

Chorus<\/em><\/p>\n

They had loaded up big with weapons –
\nCream pies and squirting flowers.
\nThe fighting was hot and heavy
\nAnd the cleanup just took hours.<\/p>\n

Chorus<\/em><\/p>\n

So I’m watching for polka-dot jumpsuits,
\nBalloon animals, as well.
\nI want you people to know
\nThese clowns are making my life hell.<\/p>\n

Chorus<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What with all the brouhaha concerning clowns in the news recently, I thought I’d dust off a song I wrote a few years ago and post it. I had run […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,7,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun-stuff","category-in-the-news","category-music"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1416"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1416\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1421,"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1416\/revisions\/1421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bendreth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}