Gaius points to a story from England about what can happen when a mother wants to make her son’s birthday memorable.

She hired someone in a gorilla suit to show up and embarrass her son during class by chasing him around the room. She even provided a camera to the teacher and requested film of the event.

Unfortunately for her (and this shows the dangers in delegation), she did not deal directly with a buffoon in a gorilla suit, and the individual who actually showed up in the classroom dressed and behaved somewhat differently:

But – thanks to what has been put down as a booking error – a female stripper turned up in place of the gorilla-suited man the unnamed mother had apparently asked for.

The stripper, who arrived on cue halfway through the lesson, first walked the birthday boy around the classroom on all fours.

Then, gyrating to the sounds of Britney Spears, she spanked him before stripping down to her bra and knickers and insisting the “naughty” schoolboy rub cream all over her body.

At that point, the teacher – who had not been told what the surprise would entail – called an immediate end to the show.

Why did the teacher let it go that far? Why didn’t the mother have to clear it with the school administration beforehand? Shouldn’t the entertainer have had to check in with the school’s office on entry?

Ah, well. Enough with the “I’m a responsible adult but there oughta be a law”-type questions. I’m both envious and horrified by this. Given how I was at sixteen, I’d probably have died of embarrassment or run away from home if something like this had happened.